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You probably got very excited when you discovered that Hand in Hand Parenting had five tools that could rescue you when parenting got sticky (or downright dirty). Very excited. It was the exact result you wanted Google to deliver.  It may even have been  how you found our podcast. You needed answers. Here they were. Even better. These five tools were kind parenting tools. They meant you could stop feeling like a demon mother ready to explode the moment your child said no, got sassy, or gave you a kick in the shins. Which is often, by the way.  With new and ever rosier visions of running together with your kid through green and blooming fields (or, maybe the park, or the mall if you are city dwellers like us) you couldn’t wait to stop yelling and start connecting. To start forging beautiful, sunset-glowy memories… So why do you still feel like you are messing it all up? Your Parenting Fails are A-OK Why do you still feel yourself sliding into motherlode-ready-to-explode mode? Why are you tearful, or fearful, or just too plain exhausted to dig deep into the tools? (All you want to dig deep into is the cookie […]
You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid’s swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn’t want to put on his swim clothes. He won’t go to the pool. “I HATE swim class,” he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won’t Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn’t going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child’s defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don’t Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you’re ready to blow. Do you: […]
Your child grabs the one extra cookie you said he wasn’t allowed… What do you do? Or your daughter whines the minute she sees you pull out peanut butter for her toast… Or, when your son hears that his sister is having a sleepover he yells that you’re a mean mom…and that you have wrinkles! Yes he did. To Play or Not to Play…That is the Question Would you, could you playfully parent in these situations, or would you Staylisten to your child’s upset? A lot of parents ask us when to play and when to stay and we answer in the podcast this week: When to play and when to stay… When can you play and then stay… And why would you stay then play… Ok, we’ll stop with the rhyming now and get down to business. Listen to Yes! You can Playlisten when your child is upset. We’re talking: Discover the signals children use to tell you play is ok today or that it’s better to stay… Playful parenting ideas you can use when storm clouds are just brewing How to move from Staylistening into play How to decide if you are Staylistening too much when you could […]
Since we have all personally gone through potty training and we will all have to go through it with our kids, you’d think we’d have nailed down one, surefire potty training method. But the 11,000 google results you get when you type in ‘How to potty train my child,’ clearly shows that a one-size-fits-all approach is about as likely as you getting a 5-minute shower with no disruptions.  Yerright.  Sadly, there is no magic potty training method. And sometimes it feels like you’ll still be sitting with your child and wiping their butt when they go off to college! But, don’t fear… So Many Methods, So Many Questions Potty-train in 3 days or wait till they lead? Will pee but won’t poop… Is fine at home but won’t pee at pre-school… Pull-ups or bare bums? The questions are endless. Which is why we get wholly confused, flabbergasted, frustrated, impatient and exhausted when it comes to potty training. Does this rite of passage have to be so arrrgh? This week, a few ideas to help.  No matter which potty training method or approach you lean towards you can incorporate the Hand in Hand tools to de-stress the process. And we can […]
“Mom, I can’t go to camp today. I have a stomachache.” This is the third time this week your child has complained of a sore stomach, and yet she shows no other symptoms of being unwell. You wonder…is something else going on under the radar? Does your child complain of stomachaches? Does she get tearful or angry regularly, refuse to go places or try new things? Does your child worry a lot, gets obsessive or compulsive? Does he or she act clingy or have trouble sleeping? Or, do you see all of these? what are the signs my child is anxious? Child anxiety is on the rise, but even if your child has not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, all children have anxious moments. And what can look like defiance or stubbornness can indicate your child is feeling anxious. Reading the signs and responding to them with actionable strategies can help a child shake off anxiety and emerge stronger and more resilient. try these 3 ideas to flip your child’s anxiousness On this episode of the Hand in Hand podcast, we look at the causes and signs of child anxiety, and Abigail shares three really useful flips you can use to […]
Have you ever asked your child to do something simple, like pack their toys away before dinner? For a second they stare back and you wide-eyed, all chubby-cheeked cherubic sweetness. And then they scrunch those eyes and tell you to $#@ off? oh no, she didn’t… Kids who cuss are more common than you might think. If you put those terms into any search engine results throw up videos full of kids swearing. Some people, apparently, find kids swearing hilarious. Others not so much. And as we share on the podcast this week where you are on the parenting swearing spectrum has much to do with how swear words showed up in your own childhood. This week we’re talking about why some kids swear with glee and other kids, well meh, they’d rather go draw a comic. We’re talking the parenting shame and humiliation that happens when your kid swears and what you can do. We’re talking about getting light around swearing while at the same time setting limits on sassy language. And we’re talking about how swearing can offer fertile grounds for connecting. Yes, you read that right, you can use swearing to bring you closer. try a little four-letter […]
You sink down on the rug in tears and wonder how you can ever keep going. Then you see your daughter’s abandoned stuffie under the sofa, next to an overdue library book, so you scoop them out, tuck them on the shelf, shove your hair in a bun, and get started with the laundry. What happened to your tears? You discarded them like your daughter did her stuffie. Welcome to mom overwhelm. Mom overwhelm is the science of feeling crushed by the weight of life and living it anyway! This week, we’re making space for overwhelm and talking about the ways we can bust through it. If you feel like a cog in a wheel of making breakfast and answering email and rushing to activities and getting laundry done and finding lost library books and washing bodies and reading story books and wait, when did you last really see your partner? Listen in. quick smart tips to conquer your mom overwhelm Today we talk turning that overwhelm around… Why is overwhelm like eating a really hot curry Why modern life creates a perfect environment for overwhelm to flourish How to cultivate walk away moments Why you need to listen to warnings as whispers and see if […]