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Want to increase your child’s co-operation? Have them listen more? Reduce clinginess?  Sometimes special time can feel like the magic balm in parenting. It can: Boost your child’s confidence.  It can build their resilience.  It can ease your own parent guilt about not spending enough “quality time with your kids.  And, one of the biggies, it can INCREASE children’s co-operation.  It does all these things! We’ve seen it countless times in our own families, but here’s the thing. Although it can increase co-operation, it isn’t guaranteed to. Especially if you aren’t setting up Special Time the right way.  So today, we’re talking about exactly why special time is so useful for increasing your child’s levels of co-operation.  How to set it up so that you stand the best possible chance of seeing this happen.  Are you using Special Time as maintenance or rescue? Why does it matter? And the difference between Special Time as a bargaining tool and the genuine invitation of setting everything aside for your child and the big effects that has.  If you’ve ever felt like Special Time wasn’t delivering the way you hoped, come problem-solve with Abigail and Elle on the Podcast this week.  Listen to Can […]
What gets you super seething mama mad? Is it the constant asks and requests, the “Mom where’s my… that’s so overwhelming? Maybe it’s the piles of toys and dishes and chip packets you asked to be tidied but are still smirking at you from the living room? Maybe it’s the stubbornness and defiance your child shows when you ask them to take a bath after giving them a wonderful day out? At least, you think it’s that the cause of all your parent anger! But what if that’s not really it at all? What if the source of your rage is connected to the limits you are setting. Or, more correctly, not setting? What does parent anger have to do with setting limits, anyway? This week on the podcast we’re sharing what behaviors make us blow and figuring out why. We show you how why, when you peel back the layers of feelings tightly packing your parent anger, you might well find a mama who was too exhausted, too overwhelmed, or too oblivious to set limits with her kids. And we talk about why not setting limits leads to rupture.  Do you know the best way out of Parent Anger? […]
If you catch yourself late at night, surrounded by toys, folding clothes and wondering why you don’t have time or energy to take a shower, ask yourself: Why am I doing all the chores? Where are my kids when I need them? And why aren’t those helpful little mice from Cinderella a real thing? And then breathe. Because chances are if you don’t, you’ll explode the mother lode with a tyranny of “Why do I never get any help around here? “Why do you NEVER pick up?” “Why do I have to ask you THREE times,” You know,  all that fun explosive stuff you promised you wouldn’t yell. Things Are About to Change This week on How to Make Your Kids Love Chores we’re looking at some great ways you can actually get down and dirty with getting your kids on board with helping around the house. On the podcast this week, we’re talking: Working with your toddler’s natural inclinations to help Getting clear on what works for you and your kids when it comes to chores Working on a feedback loop that encourages chat and change Figuring out what’s holding you and your family back from a workable chores […]
What’s the one thing you want for your child when they are sick? To have them feel better. What’s the one thing that most often gets in the way of that? When you walk away with a specialist appointment or wonkily-written script from Doc you have two things: A ticket better health for your child, hopefully, and also a potential prescription for tears and battles. How do you keep calm and carry on? This week on the podcast we show you how you can use the tools to overcome medical worry, emergencies, trauma and stress. Because when you are parenting sick kids, it isn’t just them who suffers. Whether your child has been through common childhood complaints or more serious medical challenges, we’ll show you what you can do to soothe things (that don’t just rely on a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down). On Parenting Sick Kids this week, learn: How Abigail armed herself with the tools to make a complete care package for her son’s heart-surgery – and her own sanity. This is really inspiring stuff. Why a slowly-slowly approach can eradicate all fears and battles What happens when medication NEEDS to happen How Special […]
You probably got very excited when you discovered that Hand in Hand Parenting had five tools that could rescue you when parenting got sticky (or downright dirty). Very excited. It was the exact result you wanted Google to deliver.  It may even have been  how you found our podcast. You needed answers. Here they were. Even better. These five tools were kind parenting tools. They meant you could stop feeling like a demon mother ready to explode the moment your child said no, got sassy, or gave you a kick in the shins. Which is often, by the way.  With new and ever rosier visions of running together with your kid through green and blooming fields (or, maybe the park, or the mall if you are city dwellers like us) you couldn’t wait to stop yelling and start connecting. To start forging beautiful, sunset-glowy memories… So why do you still feel like you are messing it all up? Your Parenting Fails are A-OK Why do you still feel yourself sliding into motherlode-ready-to-explode mode? Why are you tearful, or fearful, or just too plain exhausted to dig deep into the tools? (All you want to dig deep into is the cookie […]
You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid’s swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn’t want to put on his swim clothes. He won’t go to the pool. “I HATE swim class,” he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won’t Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn’t going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child’s defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don’t Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you’re ready to blow. Do you: […]
Your child grabs the one extra cookie you said he wasn’t allowed… What do you do? Or your daughter whines the minute she sees you pull out peanut butter for her toast… Or, when your son hears that his sister is having a sleepover he yells that you’re a mean mom…and that you have wrinkles! Yes he did. To Play or Not to Play…That is the Question Would you, could you playfully parent in these situations, or would you Staylisten to your child’s upset? A lot of parents ask us when to play and when to stay and we answer in the podcast this week: When to play and when to stay… When can you play and then stay… And why would you stay then play… Ok, we’ll stop with the rhyming now and get down to business. Listen to Yes! You can Playlisten when your child is upset. We’re talking: Discover the signals children use to tell you play is ok today or that it’s better to stay… Playful parenting ideas you can use when storm clouds are just brewing How to move from Staylistening into play How to decide if you are Staylistening too much when you could […]