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What should I do when my child hits?  It’s one of the most common questions we get at Hand in Hand Parenting, and it’s the content of this week’s podcast. And no wonder. Hitting can feel dangerous. Offensive. Confusing. But if hitting is so common, why are we all still wondering what to do about it? There’s so much differing advice! What Are Children Really Saying When They Hit? Abigail talks about all the quick-tip strategies out there and why they might work at first but why so often they fail in the long-term. We look at what children might be communicating through hitting, whether it’s a (somewhat misguided) attempt at play or as an expression as deep-rooted fear, and Elle admits completely misreading some of her child’s hitting behaviors.  Understanding Hitting and other Defiant Behavior And although we don’t encourage hitting, we talk about why parenting the punch itself doesn’t actually ease the problem but instead pushes the feelings causing a child to hit to one side. They may disappear for now, but they (and the hitting) will soon be back again.  So, we talk about what parenting the problem and not the punch actually means: Get wise to why your […]
    If you were to see a job description for a role where non-stop, around-the-clock care was compulsory, and there was no training and no overtime, would you take it? Probably not! Yet, it’s what we all sign up for when we become parents. Hand in Hand Parenting exists to support parents in this crazy difficult role, and it’s why we make this podcast each week! We love love love you parents for showing up here, united in your care and devotion to raising your kids the best you can. What an amazing community! And so, this week, Abigail and Elle wanted to celebrate your role as parents and all you do that is seen and unseen. Take this as an inspirational message for parents everywhere. If you are in need of support, nurturing and community, welcome. Listen to A Love Letter to Parents now and take a minute to pause, reflect and love yourself a little.  Share Our Love Letter To Parents Please share this inspirational message for parents with those you might know who would like and value the support of our beautiful community. You are the parents who will #changeparenting for the next generation, making it a […]
Psychologist and parenting expert Ross Greene coined quite the term when he said that “Kids do well when they can,” but isn’t exactly the same true of parents? Reframing your past could be the key to getting there, and becoming a more confident, calm and content parent.  Why?   It’s highly unlikely that any of us here set out to be terrible parents, so why do we often end up feeling that way? This week, Abigail and Elle are looking at trauma and the ways that past traumatic experiences can reverberate in our parenting. Elle asks what exactly trauma is, and we look into identifying trauma and its after-effects. Past trauma can stall us in our belief and ability to parent consciously, but reframing these experiences can help us heal well and move on. Abigail shares a deeply moving account of her pregnancy trauma and how reframing her devastation transformed it into something positive and warm. Much of this came down to the tools she used after discovering Hand in Hand Parenting.  Listen this week and find out how the Hand in Hand tools can help you retell your trauma story, heal and move on. Listen to Reframing Your Past Could Be […]
Changes in routine or surroundings often trigger separation anxiety, and as parents, we often see it play out at daycare or school drop-off. And it’s really no secret why. We rush to get out on time, we have our never-ending running to-do list chattering, and on top of that we see other children run off happily to meet friends while our own tearful child clings to our legs crying, and all in front of the teacher. No wonder Elle says that even the words “separation anxiety” have her breaking out in a cold sweat. It’s also the reason we wanted to make Separation Anxiety our focus on the podcast this week. Abigail and Elle explore how to use Hand in Hand’s Parenting tools to ease separation stress. And we talk about two tools that have had helped bring profound changes for kids with fears about separation. Listen to Two Ways To Conquer Separation Anxiety and get support for when: Your child clings to you when it’s time to leave and frequently resists new things You are confused what to when separation anxiety hits You are losing patience with the crying You’ve ever had a hard time saying goodbye to your own […]
Have you ever? Watched as your child did something and then immediately blame someone else? Heard, “I have no homework,” from your child and then discovered it stuffed at the bottom of her school bag? Had a parent come to you and congratulate you on your new car / your child’s new triumph in soccer or trombone / or to wish you well on an upcoming trip – none of which you know anything about? This week on the podcast Abigail and Elle are looking at the lies our kids tell and why. And we discuss practical strategies you can use when you discover your child in a lie – that don’t rely on punishment. Join us this week on the podcast and discover: Why lies are so commonly misunderstood Asking and answering the question: Should I ignore lying or insist on the truth or something in between Ways to help a child that lies without using punishment How to find lightness in the lies Listen now to Children Lying: Why Children Lie And Ways to Respond more resources about children and lying This in-depth article talks about the different lies children tell and what they can mean with advice on […]
Are you shy of disappointing your kids? Over the last few episodes, Abigail and Elle have been decoding emotional projects – in part one we looked at noticing behaviors which signal an emotional project, and in part two we spoke about when and how to work on an emotional project using the Hand in Hand tools. Why it’s OK to Disappoint Our Kids For the last part in this series, we’re taking a look at how disappointment is linked to the emotional project, why we, as parents, are so scared of disappointing our kids and why disappointment is both unavoidable and a totally acceptable part of parenting. If you ever fund yourself torn about saying no to your child or have a hard time setting boundaries with them, listen in as we discuss the plus side of disappointing our kids, it’s role in building resilience and – despite all the odds – closeness. Listen to Why Are We Parents so Scared to Disappoint our Kids? and find out why when we disappoint our kids – and support them through it – we can impart some useful life lessons. Find out: Why parents will always disappoint their kids How to reframe disappointment […]
This week we define how deep-rooted fears cause emotional projects, and how parents experience them as well as children.   000004F3 000004F3 00010357 00010357 00166F5E 00166F5E 00007B8A 00007B8A 00001729 00001729 source http://handinhandparenting.libsyn.com/ep-47-working-with-a-childs-rigid-behaviors