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Ep 47 Working with a Child’s Rigid Behaviors

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Defiance, Upsets and Power Struggles: Solving Common Child Behavior Problems

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Ever feel like you are trying to cope with every common child behavior problem in the book?

  • Won’t get dressed
  • Doesn’t want to eat breakfast
  • Won’t brush teeth
  • Keeps throwing toys
  • Has a tantrum every time you leave
  • Always begs for more screentime
  • Never wants to go to sleep
  • Doesn’t listen
  • Constant whining

Every single request seems like it’s met with resistance. If someone were to ask you what you are up against in your parenting, you’d shout “everything!”

It’s frustrating

It’s draining

It’s totally upsetting

And it makes parenting feel just about impossible.

What if One Thing Was Causing These All of These Problem Behaviors?

What if we told you that actually, there is one central issue here? That there is one challenge you have to tackle. One thing is driving all these challenging, rigid behaviors?

And that when you understand what that issue is and begin working on it, you’ll see these problem behaviors dissolve.

This week Elle and Abigail are talking about the times when nothing seems right for your child, when every interchange feels like a power struggle, and how you can get to the root of the issue to stop the behaviors that drive you so crazy!

Join us this week and listen to Defiance, Upsets and Power Struggles: Solving Common Child Behavior Problems

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. 

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

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Wish Parenting was less stressful? Join Hand in Hand’s Parent Club for support and community. Your own Parent Club with moderated forums, live call-ins and resources.


An Entirely New Spin on Kids and Sharing

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To share, or not to share, is that the question?

So many parents in our parent groups and The Parent Club come to us with questions about sharing, it’s a subject that we knew we had to cover!

Why is sharing such a hot-topic conversation?

Well, sharing brings on big feelings for parents and children and there are so many differing thoughts and views on how to handle sharing. 

And sharing can feel unfair, or questionable. 

Like when your child demands another child’s toy at a playgroup, for instance, it can feel like second nature to make him or her wait. But when another child demands a toy from yours, we often feel propelled to hand it over.

But, what if we went beyond what fair sharing looks like, and into why sharing so often doesn’t happen? What if we treated the symptom, instead of the problem?

Try This Entirely New Spin on Sharing

So today, Abigail and Elle share an entirely new spin on parenting, with some concrete tools on handling sharing with the children in your lives. 

Join us this week and listen to An Entirely New Spin on Kids and Sharing

More Resources About Sharing

At Hand in Hand Parenting, we’re fans of this “I’ll be with you while you wait,” strategy. This way of listening to a child has multiple benefits for your child’s emotional health, and it also stops the back and forth taking turns that can be so frustrating and stressful to put in place.

Find out more about that here It’s Mine! All About Sharing

keep connected

We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram. 

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Sign up for our Monthly Newsletter 

Wish parenting was less stressful?

Join Hand in Hand’s Parent Club for support and community.




6 Qualities of Greatness

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6 Qualities of Greatness

We all have the potential for greatness. To develop and express our greatness, we must possess the passion and drive to live our lives with calculated risks and an attitude of faith. When we strive for greatness, when we strive to give all we’ve got to achieving our dreams, “success” is the secondary benefit.

Greatness lies in the journey, not the result. If success is our only drive, we may achieve financial wealth, but we may not achieve greatness. Greatness is much deeper than money. Greatness is an expression of our character.

1. Leadership

Greatness in leaders is expressed though a positive attitude. For this reason, we must add a positive attitude to everything we do. When we do this, it causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes to come our way. Our positive attitude must be powerful enough to infect every one of our team members. It is our attitude that motivates our team members to achieve the goals that have been placed in front of them.

How we respond to our team members when the stakes are high and the consequences really matter is what helps them to be fearless. As leaders, we must lay the groundwork for our team members to succeed, and then we must possess the humility and self-confidence to sit back and watch them shine. A leader who possesses greatness will take more than his or her fair share of the blame when things go wrong and be satisfied to take less than a fair share of the acknowledgment when success occurs.


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by James Wall in General Comments: 0

Have you ever heard of the terms “metabolic damage” or “starvation mode”? Odds are you have – I just Googled it and it came back with almost 68 million results.  Or maybe you’ve used an online calorie calculator and found that it’s asking you to eat significantly more calories than you’re currently eating, leaving you confused and positive that it’s going to make you gain weight if you eat that much.

What is Metabolic Damage?

“Metabolic damage” has become the go-to term for the premise that your body gains bodyfat very easily on a modest amount of calories, and it requires a significant  amount of low calorie intake and high calorie expenditure to produce any tangible weight loss or fat loss.  It’s not a medical issue, but simply an adaptation by your metabolism to survive in an extreme energy deficit.

“Starvation mode” is a very non-scientific way of saying that when you restrict food intake too hard, you’ll cling onto everything you do get.

So how do these things fit into the big picture when it comes to weight loss and bodyfat loss? Is something wrong with your body? Do you need to be “fixed”?  Probably not. – you just have to give your body a reason to adapt in a positive way.  The easiest, least scientific way to look at this concept is with my favorite analogy, and one that just about everybody reading this can understand – a financial one.

Metabolic Expense Reporting

Let’s say you make $100,000 a year.  You manage your money well – you have some fixed expenses each month – your rent, your insurance, your car – and disposable expenses – going to the movies, trips to the book store, a monthly Chipotle fund, a guys’ weekend in Vegas.  If you get a little carried away and spend an extra hundred dollars, you just move what you need over from your savings account to get you through the next week.  Things work pretty well.

Now, let’s say you get laid off from your current job, and are forced to take a new one making only $30,000 a year.  Initially, you might continue to spend at your usual rate, optimistic that this is just a minor setback, and confident that you’ll get through this quickly so you can get back to your normal level of income.

Then a few months goes by. You’re still going to the movies every Friday, your lunch is still a burrito bowl with double carnitas and extra guac (seriously, almost 2 bucks for guacamole?), and you still go on the occasional weekend trip.  You keep moving a little bit of money out of your savings account to cover how much you’re short.


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The Art of Enjoying The Burn

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After inspecting my ankle, the doctor told me to strengthen it by doing a hundred calf raises a day. I try to do them whenever a few minutes present themselves: when soup is heating, coffee is brewing, or something is downloading.

After a few dozen reps, the calves really start to burn. I hadn’t done calf raises for years, and it turns out my relationship to that burning is very different than it used to be. Having done a fair bit of weight training since then, I hadn’t quite realized that I now enjoy the burning sensation of fatiguing muscles. I’ve come to know it as the feeling that goes with getting stronger.

I used to hate this same feeling. It was the feeling of slogging through the final laps in gym class, dying to hear the buzzer go. It was the feeling of awkwardly holding up a plank while I waited for my dad to put in all the screws.

Interestingly, the physical side of this muscle-burn feeling is the same as it ever was. It’s still uncomfortable. It’s still a relief when I can stop and rest. But my psychological relationship to it has completely reversed.

Instead of trying to escape from, ignore, or stop the burning, as I once did in Phys Ed class, I settle into it willingly, like the heat from a sauna. I let it build and intensify as I push on, without trying to defend against it, and that intensity is exhilarating. Even though it burns, it feels like strength, capability, progress.


Click HERE for full article.

Taking Care of Your Mental Health in the Fitness Space

by James Wall in General Comments: 0

It seems ironic when you think about it. Fitness is supposed to be about health and living your best life possible. Why then, do we find ourselves stressed and anxious rather than inspired?

When you’re living in a world that thrives on the concept of insufficiency it can be difficult to keep a healthy perspective on diet and exercise. It’s not hard to see how disordered eating and mental health struggles can be associated with the fitness industry because of this.

Most of the articles in the top-selling fitness magazines play up insecurities, encouraging us to jump on every latest trend to change all the things we dislike about ourselves. It’s all about how much we can take away from our body, and how tracking everything we eat and do is necessary for any kind of noticeable progress. Physical activity becomes another gateway to feed disordered eating habits.

We use words like “dirty,” “bad,” and “cheating” to describe certain foods or the consumption of them, thinking it’s an innocent way of reminding ourselves to eat better. In reality, this kind of language is quite harmful to our mental state.

Giving any kind of negative association to the food we eat implies there is something wrong with indulging in it. It’s like a form of self-manipulation, because we are making ourselves feel bad for things we have no reason to feel bad about. If you’ve ever experienced genuine guilt for ordering off the dessert menu, you know what I’m talking about.


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Top 7 Tips to Stay Secure on Your Summer Vacations

by James Wall in General Comments: 0

We all look forward to summer and its promise of fun-filled vacations. But in our haste to momentarily escape the daily grind, many of us overlook key elements of our digital security. Computer criminals don’t take vacations, after all. Digital threats follow us everywhere we go, which is why we can never let our guard down no matter how many sun-soaked beaches we visit.

Don’t let computer criminals spoil your time off! To help you get the most out of your getaways, here are seven tips you can use to stay secure on your summer vacations.


Exploit kits are capable of leveraging vulnerabilities to install ransomware and other baddies onto unpatched devices. To protect against those threats, it’s important you implement all operating system updates on your laptops, smartphones, and other devices you want to take on vacation. You should apply these fixes before you even set foot outside of your home.


Top 7 Tips to Stay Secure on Your Summer Vacations

Help Kids Lose Weight

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The key to shedding pounds is choosing foods that fight hunger.

Avoid Starchy Carbs

If your child had a bagel for breakfast this morning, it wasn’t much more nutritious than eating a bowl of sugar, says Parents advisor David Ludwig, MD, PhD, associate professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School and director of the Optimal Weight for Life Program at Boston Children’s Hospital. That’s because most starchy carbohydrates, like bread, white rice, and potatoes, dissolve into glucose soon after you swallow them. Starting the day with eggs or another source of protein instead will not only help your child feel fuller, but it will help him lose weight.

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Child standing on a scale

Staycation 101: What to do when you can’t travel for a summer vacation

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Not enough time or money to plan a long vacation to the tropics? You don’t have to travel around the world to have a relaxing vacation this summer — there’s plenty to do right in your own neighborhood.

We can get so caught up in our daily routines that we lose our creativity and curiosity, and a staycation offers the chance to be a tourist in your own town.

Don’t be foiled by Netflix and your bed, check out this list of things to do without going anywhere near the airport.

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Ahhh, staycation.